The homosexual man is attracted to men of power and strength (physique), the unconscious desire to enslave young men and make them helpless. The pre-Oedipal period maintains original injury and loss of the idealised parent imago and the impairment of the neutralising capacity. He seeks approval of his values of various father figures with reactive grandiosity and arrogance demeanour and behaviour as a source of excitement, subjecting powerful men to masturbating and draining them of their strength acquired these qualities in the process.
- Sexualisation of father imago (Oedipal idealisation) fixation as he needed and lacked acquiring an idealised superego.
- Sexualisation of mirror image and grandiose self
- Need for idealised values and reliable self-esteem.
- Pleasure gain and escape from narcissistic tension
The Idealised parent is introjected, and idolising libido is employed in the idealisation of the superego. If this mechanism is disturbed or stopped, the idealised parent is retained, repressed or otherwise inaccessible to influence the reality ego, withdrawing the idealising mental energy, and its gradual internalisation is generated.
The child has a yearning fixation on the idealised other, deprived of enough idealised superego; these people are forever seeking external omnipotent power from others whose support and approval they attempt to derive strength from. Withdrawal from the regressed idealised imago (therapist/parent) strengthens the drive to control the basic structures of the ego and, hence, the idealisation of the superego. The ego refuses to admit to the repressed instinctual striving into its realm and resists parting with an incestuous object (ID). The ego is Split off from the strivings brought into contact with a real ego, which may lead to the loss of the narcissistically experienced objects.
The Narcissistic child returns to overactivity and excessive reliance on overachievement. Nothing I do is good enough is hammered into the subconscious and creates patterns in the superego, where only a series of crises are needed to unravel it. The client needs enough pain and courage to keep them coming, and a good therapeutic alliance can create trust with the therapist. The client can learn to deal with the pain and real self-demands that are repressed and split off. Denial and habit collude to prevent real self-awareness and self-activation. The adult/child needs to mourn the original loss of the mother and the subsequent losses as all previous endeavours had no meaning and true experience, which is hard to accept, as these realisations confront the sacrifice of the self and the imagined life of specialness and illusion. A life of tragedy is fulfilled with false pursuits and outcomes. They refuse to give in to longings, survival without moving, without giving in to uncertainty and the unknown.
“The narcissistic child is Strutting and bragging about false accomplishments and attractiveness, how perfect and unique they are”
The false self drives the child, with a real hatred towards vulnerability, archaic demands, and feelings, bonded to an overwhelming critical parent who hates the child for their weaknesses and failures, reflecting them; therefore, they install unachievable expectations which cannot be fulfilled. The parent’s continuous frustrations lead to withdrawal, a child’s depression, illness, and work /sexual inhibitions.
The false self and child remain arrested and underdeveloped, open to a world of injury and disappointment.
There is no discrimination between the concept of self and others, prone to ego fragmentation and paranoia when threatened. They are looking for twinship, wanting others to be like them as a defence of grandiosity and the need to individuate, others seen as a source of supply. Others should be able to read their mind and provide gratification on a whim and when needed.
- Symbiotic -Symbiotic failure and resolution in individuation.
- Narcissistic – failure in a resolution of grandiose self.
- Masochistic – seething resentment at having to give in, no twining or idealization transference, no splitting, dependent on the maternal love object.
They convert destructive aggression and rage into sadism without destroying the idealised image of the mother. The ragefully aggressive parent is bonded with the masochistic child’s ego, leading to shifting personas in therapy, where the child may remain in contact via depreciation. A primitive thinking process dominated by rationalisation (neurotic) with an unconscious focus on the boundaries between the self and the outer world. The secondary defences are internal conflicts between parts of the self and intrapsychic conflicts expressed in interpersonal relationships. They fill in the defects in the self through a sexualised merger with the rejecting (punishing/belittling features of the parental imago. Their drive responses are motivated by a flight from Oedipal conflicts, under the pressure of the castration anxiety as the lost merger is established via pathological means in fantasies and perversions.
Institutions like the government provide the aggressive drive to heighten self-esteem via the attention and approval these institutions give the individual to participate without any responsibility or consequences. Conflicts between pleasure-seeking and destructive tendencies are shown via the drive elaborating/curbing the ego or superego functions. They project the sadistic qualities onto their partner in an infantile manner, with the Oedipal super-ego injunctions leading to submission and unrealistic sadomasochism.
A Neurotic man (OCD) married to a borderline woman admires her imagined freedom. He tolerates her violent outbursts and behaviour via splitting, whereas the reassuring man’s aggression does not affect the borderline woman who can’t tolerate the persecuting nature. A homosexual may be the ideal love object as they are experienced as the same idealised imago of the same gender. If the other traits include sexuality intolerance, this may lead to sexual inhibition due to the envy of the other gender. The twinship relationship (wedding) of object love bonded by narcissistic gratification protects against the activation of destructive aggression. The relationship starts as a love of intimacy but leads to hatred of intimacy, imperfections, and vulnerability. The borderline woman constantly demands, “Do you still love me “to maintain a common skin, as a counterpart to the aggressive expression of “You always treat me like this”. Hysterical women, unable to idealise or seduce their father, become inhibited against sexual involvement, usually married to a narcissistic man with an unconscious resentment of women. Here is a sequence of possible events
- A narcissistic husband wants submission, and the wife’s sexual inhibition leads to extramarital affairs.
- Disappointment in the Oedipal father (husband) leads to sadomasochistic affairs with a forbidden man.
- It makes the husband realise his dependency on her even though he treated her like rubbish.
- She needed the reconfirmation of her availability, with the father’s disloyalty. The move away from a socially dangerous situation is a condition for respecting sexually the other man who is not her husband.
- The fantasy of an excluded third party, an idealised member of the subject’s gender as a rival replicating Oedipal rival.
- The sexually desired object in negative Oedipal conflict identifies with betraying partner in sexual fantasies, around jealousy, and hated rival.
- Her accepted sexuality by her husband brings about a sexual response, creating a mutual understanding. The wife must have provoked him by becoming the rejecting mother, devaluing him to seek another idealised woman.
A couple who can retain sexual intimacy confirm the struggle against rivals or indicate an Oedipal triumph as well as Oedipal rebellion.
Men and women long for complete fusion with a loved object with pre-Oedipal/Oedipal elements that can’t be fulfilled. They may indulge in homosexuality to overcome boundaries between sexes that limit narcissistic gratification in sexual intimacy. The perversions are the recruitment of love in a series of aggression, transforming intimacy into a mechanism of sex, splitting love from aggression with two objects, and acting out unconscious guilt over the Oedipal triumph achieved by maintaining the love relationship, which is less than satisfactory. One partner may agree to sterilisation or even mutation as a symbolic castration. Rageful outbursts result in righteous indignation and identification with the primitive superego, with submission at first to partner into renewed outbursts as a secondary defence against unconscious guilt.
Maturity of the SuperEgo
Projections from the primitive superego are aspects of the infantile person, unable to tolerate ambivalence and shift to object constancy and capacity for gratitude. By not experiencing guilt over one’s aggression, the guilt increases idealisation as a reaction and direct expression of guilt, making the other feel guilty and experienced as unreliable and deceitful, with the attempt to get away with it. They project feelings they dread onto others, the gratification of Oedipal longings by sublimation methods. The neurotic male develops intense anxiety over sexual inferiority, with sexual inhibitions developed as reactivation of normal infantile narcissistic fantasies. The child’s small penis cannot satisfy his mother. Compared to the father’s penis. The elimination of self-awareness, where pathology merges with primitive /severe aggression, where the self is sacrificed on behalf of others/parents.
Feelings of guilt at the punishing Parental introjects are used to recover the object’s love, with aggression absorbed into love. Obligating their experience of pain, with submission and humiliation used to obtain sexual gratification, is the unconscious punishment for the forbidden Oedipal implication of gender/sexuality. The child’s erotic excitement has turned into pleasure with an imagined sense of closeness to an erotic object, Including the demands made by the object as a condition of maintaining its love.
You are hurting me as part of your response to my desire, and I accept your pain as part of your love. I am beginning to enjoy the pain inflicted on me.
The daughter with a prohibitive mother and warm, distant father develops a wish to seduce her father away from the mother, making the father the slave with full acceptance of her sexuality whilst punishing him for having preferred other women (mother) and offering herself in turn for slavery expiated by guilt. Sex is taking unconscious revenge against a father who had abandoned her and a husband who does not cause her pain as he is a non-threatening infant male.
Sexual aggression distorts the ego development of psychic structures and interferes with the elaboration of aggression in fantasy instead of its direct expression in behaviour. The narcissistic grandiose self is established through aggression and fusion with a sadistic object. I am alone in my pain, rage, and fear; I will fuse with my tormentor and protect myself by destroying myself or my self-awareness (self-murdered). Inflicting pain and death onto others means I don’t have to feel the pain again. Injustice gathering can be the easiest compromise.
Borderline manifests as a primary environmental failure, with an intrapsychic and interpersonal warping and disturbance in the realm of the self. Objects are not experienced as separate from the self, creating defects in ego functioning. Only with consciousness disintegration these complexes are freed from restraint and breakthrough into ego consciousness. The lack of ego integration leads to inappropriate reality adaptation and an inability to distinguish between the self and the outside world—difficulty in maintaining relationships once conflicts, frustrations, mood fluctuations, and identity problems invade them.
- Great anger, vulnerable to fragility, substance abuse, and transient psychosis
- Concerns with power, splitting, and defence against disintegration. Lack of Eros due to early parental alienation.
- Fear of separation, abandonment, and annihilation
A weakened ego with no consolidation leads to unconscious content being contained, which has a restrictive influence on the personality, causing forever feeling forsaken, inferior, and sadomasochistic. Overwhelmed by internal forces and loss of connection to the self, always feeling fear, anxiety, anger and despair. The Loss of the mother is experienced at losing the ideal state of self, where trauma and unmet needs establish a damaged self-ego axis. The organised state of inflation begins to dissolve, and a state of alienation results., caught up in hate and rebellion towards the parent whilst idealising them and needing to reconnect to an inner source of strength and acceptance.
- Mutual social contact ungratifying
- Gets gratification vicariously
- By fixing others, they may gratify them in return.
- Blocking of need impulse, internalisation is fixed and resistant to change.
The left-hand path (incestuous energies) must be available to consciousness—tendencies to abolish structure via incestual union (co-dependency) and create it through collective regeneration of order. One must take back projections and enter relationships. Women fear sexual energies as feelings are psychotic and hidden through splitting, explicit in the mother/child union. Acting out sexual behaviours with no symbolic awareness is an offence to the soul and an act of betrayal.
If we learn to recognise the sexual corruption has not been constellated or integrated, we then don’t need moral injunctions and can defeat them.
4 Stages Of Therapy
Detaching consciousness of the object means happiness is no longer based on objects outside oneself, ideas, personas, and circumstances. One may become overwhelmed with the emergence of new ego complexes as they need to be integrated, stabilised and mixed with a new enduring reality and perception. The immature ego is terrified of deprivation by confronting the mother (Medusa), who lurks in the shadows. The animal energy that needed recognition during infancy can be corrected, and no longer live in fear, guilt, and rage.
Depression is a defence against the child’s creative expression, a re-enactment of abandonment, and feared annihilation. Annihilation of the self on the one hand and the abandonment of individualisation on the other. The real self exists in the real feelings, within the abandonment depression, the void of any vestiges in human pleasure and positive feelings in relatedness. Real body pleasure elicits guilt and fear. Relatedness elicits fear of humiliation and the realisation of all the human contact that has been lost. Life in the body is unknown and anxiety-provoking
- Need to bond with a primary caregiver
- Need to individualise through exploration
- Self-determined activity and building psychic boundaries
- Self-determined expression and establishing an attuned self-other relationship.