The mother is only interested in pre-oedipal infants for narcissist supply creating adult children with an infantilised ego. The mother will withdraw libido from the older child abruptly to the newborn or if the child exerts any ambiguous activity or self-expression. Covert psychosis leads to narcissism, where the grandiose self is inserted in the position before the mother rejects or abandons the child post-oedipal stage. The narcissistic position (merger) is where one is caught between an autoerotic and fragmented body self due to the emotional coldness of one`s mother. The child’s withdrawal from their unresponsive body leads to a fixation on body/self (autoeroticism) and archaic stages of grandiose self. The continuous lack of the mother’s admiration and responses lead to a lack of ego structure.
The child`s need for empathy is exchanged for stimulus and excitement to relieve tension, not neutralised and not transformed into less aim-inhibited fantasies and wishes. An unneutralised libido will try to regain balance in old needs and wishes with some grandiose/ unrealistic activities through physicality, bringing some gratification where exhibitionism is being attained. Autoeroticism is described as “the phenomena of spontaneous sexual emotion generated in the absence of an external stimulus proceeding, directly or indirectly, from another person—the practice of becoming sexually stimulated through internal stimuli. The autoerotic woman /Man recognizes such desires but prefers to satisfy them alone. “
The mother may react to the child’s sexual desire by becoming sexually stimulated or counter-aggressive, as they cannot contain the child’s new self-assertiveness. The child`s vigour and assertiveness may end up fused and not separated. Sexual and destructive (ID) and inhibiting/exhibiting (Superego)are constituents of the guilty man(Neurosis, conflictual). Ambitions and ideals are the poles of the self, and between them, the structures of tension form the centre of the tragic man, the world of unmirrored ambitions, a world devoid of ideals. The parent can’t say “NO” and can’t tolerate the child’s frustrations as they can’t tolerate their own frustrations. They envy the child’s drive for gratification and try to paralyse the drive, creating sadistic impulses.
The impaired mother generates a pathogenic experience of prolonged enmeshment, followed by traumatic rejection and disappointment /abandonment leading to disassociation.
The child’s exhibitionist urges and fantasies remain isolated, split off and inaccessible by the reality ego.
- Tensions damming up of narcissistic exhibitionist libido (shame. embarrassment). Narc libido is tied to unrealistic unconscious or disavowed grandiose fantasies and is unavailable to ego syntonic activities. Deviations that penetrate the reality ego in the form of exhibitionist strivings.
- The lowering of capacity for self-esteem and ego-syntonic enjoyment. Phallic personalities (speed demons, daredevils) seek a continuous supply of admiration and acclaim for its reassurance to maintain the denial of castration anxiety. The mother belittles the adult male (the boy’s father), inspiring the idealised imago’s admiration with awe and fear. Shame can lead to the discharge of crude not, neutralised exhibitionism and libido, and anxiety, as the grandiose self is isolated and threatened with permanent object loss.
- Emotional retreat – the annihilation of the oedipal period and chronic adaptation to narcissistic disorder
- Mortification- a feeling of being exposed and the self is fragmenting due to lack of vitality and defensive oedipal position.
- Overstimulation and closeness- structural disturbance from neurosis in the parent.
- Under stimulation and remoteness – a disorder of the self. Walled off from the children, no mirroring and any idealising needs.
The child`s movement towards the father to detach from the idealised parental imago (IPI) fails due to
- Mother’s interference and fear of separation
- Apprehended due to mother’s enmeshment
- Deprecated father- not available for idealisation and withdrawn, defeated Oedipal within
A successful process or rapprochement leads to the preoedipal aspects of the IPI gradually being relinquished and internalised/neutralised, becoming part of the drive controlling/channelling structure of the ego. This takes over the previous example of only controlling the drive once attached to the IPI. The superego is created with the idealisation of the father (other) within the psychic structure with the strengthening of values and standards. The superego establishes internal leadership, guidance and approval in the realm of homeostasis for the ego. Integration was previously only available when fused/merged with idolised others. Empathy, creativity and wisdom can become part of the psyche as forces (drives) and counterforces (defences) are integrated. The interaction/conflicts of forces (symptoms of neurosis) within a hypothetical space (psychic apparatus). If the Id or Superego forces are neutralised, the ego can function appropriately.